when i get down to it, it really is quite confusing. are my motives pure? is there an underlying drive to avoid the wrath of God? am i really fully in love with him and not just choosing him because he should be the best thing. is what i know taking over my general feelings for him?
sorting through these thoughts i realize that america is riddled with things that are quite meretricious... (i just looked that up, it means it looks attractive but has no value...sweet deals) ...
there are questions that are far more worthy of my time and thought.... like... do you really love god? or just love the benefits of god? would you still want to go to heaven if god wasnt there? are you being real with yourself?...i hope so. im trying to
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